The picture on the left accurately describes my current state of mind. It feels like my life involves one thing after another coming my way that I can’t fully prepare for. I don’t know about you but for me it involves starting a new semester of school (my last year!), starting to help out at a youth group, working in a
library, and learning what it means to breathe in the chaos. I cannot say that I have been happy these last few weeks, stressed and in over my head would be a better way of putting it. That is the mindset that I was in and still have to deal with as I acclimate to life in the States again. But I didn’t want to write to complain, instead I want to talk about a realization. A couple of my friends had been recommending that I go and hang out with some college students in Bloomington. It was an international group where we would come together, play games, and enjoy one another’s company. I decided to go and I met people from all around the world many of whom had only been here for a couple of weeks. Hearing their stories of chaos as they transitioned into a new culture reminded me that I am not the only one who feels chaos. I got to speak with people from India and Germany in their languages (though my fluency in Hindi and German is laughably bad) but more importantly it was nice to be with people who acknowledged that their lives were also incredibly chaotic and involved a lot of adjustment. Maybe it is selfish of me to think that way, I am not entirely sure. It was nice to know that I am not the only one who is learning to deal with new challenges.
I have no idea what it truly means to be at peace. I am learning though. Sometimes it is an afternoon of good music and coffee, sometimes it is a group of students who can make you laugh even though you don’t understand everything that is being said, perhaps its art (Van Gogh is my gogh to…see what I did there) and sometimes it is taking a deep breath knowing that it is all going to work out. We don’t have the ability to control the chaos but we have the ability to embrace it and become better people because of it.